You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
