at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
