I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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