Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
