Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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