Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
