so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
why is half of my head shaved?
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