I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
