you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
