So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
