First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
