I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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