youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
