You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
