i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
