Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
