Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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