You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
