she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
