I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
