you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
