so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize