So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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