I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
