One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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