so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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