that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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