Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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