The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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