so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
