This is not my ceiling
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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