That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Welp...herpes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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