It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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