I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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