She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
wow bdsm is so cute
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
