If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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