If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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