the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
