she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
