I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize