I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
