I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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