Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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