5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
