i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
