Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
