shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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