i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize