dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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