I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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