5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
