I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
